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Man Laws That Should be Repealed

by James Joyner on 5 August 2009

Don’t fruit the beer! Man law!


A few years back, there was a rather amusing series of commercials for Miller Lite in which athletes, actors, and others sat around a table discussing various questions about manhood such as whether it’s permissible to put lime in one’s beer, share an umbrella with another man, use a fake fire log, and so on.  The answer, predictably, was a firm No:  Real men do things in the least comfortable, least technology-intensive means possible.

I was reminded of these commercials recently when reading the reactions to my James Bond Ruined the Martini post.  Real men don’t drink vodka! Real men drink my brand of gin! Real men drink whiskey!

What nonsense.

Look, Burt Reynolds is unquestionably a manly man.  He was a star halfback at Florida State before tearing up his knee and went on to become one of the biggest leading men in Hollywood history, playing macho roles in flicks ranging from “Deliverance” to “Smoky and the Bandit” and “Cannonball Run.”  When he got older, he reinvented himself — much like John Wayne — into a guy willing to make fun of himself in movies like “Strip Tease” and “Boogie Nights.”  He’s been “romantically involved” with the likes of Adrienne Barbeau, Loni Anderson, Sally Field, Dolly Parton, and Chris Evert.

But, frankly, if you’re touting Miller Lite, your opinion on beer is not something I much value.  And a lime goes great with a Corona (which is damned near undrinkable otherwise) and other citrus fruits are good with some wheat beers.

One of the points of Manzine is for men to share with other men things we’ve learned the hard way over the years.  Life’s too short to drink crappy beer,  eat overdone steaks, have lousy scotch, or deny yourself the joys of the mojito or a proper martini until you discover them in your 40s.

But, hey, some people really like Miller Lite and come back to it after trying dozens of Belgian ales.   Or they can’t afford more expensive beer.  And that’s fine.

Similarly, if you prefer wine spritzers to a robust cab, a banana daiquiri to a single malt scotch, vodka to gin, or quiche to ribeye,  that’s fine by me.

There are ways of getting you man card revoked.  None of them involve what kind of beer you drink.

Photo by Flickr user CC Chapman under Creative Commons license.

About James Joyner

James Joyner is the publisher of Outside the Beltway and the managing editor of a DC think tank. He's a former Army officer, Desert Storm vet, and college professor. He has a PhD in political science from The University of Alabama.

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Manly Thoughts | Outside the Beltway | Online Journal of Politics and Foreign Affairs
8 August 2009 at 07:43


1 JKB 6 August 2009 at 11:01

Well the man laws didn’t last very long. Tried a Miller Chill yet? Neither have I but apparently it is popular being Mlller Lite with lime. It’s the Miller Lite not the lime I have issues with.

2 James Joyner 6 August 2009 at 13:00

I hadn’t thought about Miller Chill in this context, but you’re right!  Rather amusing.

3 jsallison 6 August 2009 at 21:02

Ways to get your man card revoked… I’m thinking one of those would be to go shopping at your local Walmart at 3 am wearing pajama pants. I don’t care if you’ve got a big honking 3 on yer butt, turn in your man card at the door. PJ pants only, *ONLY* work if you’re a stone cold hottie of the female variety. And if you’re acting like you’re all that and a bag of keeblers it doesn’t work then, either.

4 This Guy 19 August 2009 at 16:34

There is only one Man Law, “Unless you are hurting a woman or misusing a tool or expressly asked to, men don’t tell other men what to do.”

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